You’ve created a budget. You’ve established both short term and long
term goals according to what is right for you and your family. You’re going
through the process of paying down your debt. You’ve taken the time to examine
your spending behaviors and are working toward correcting and redirecting those
behaviors towards more positive and productive outcomes. You’ve made great
strides. Good for you!! But do you feel restless? Unsettled? Like something is not
quite right? It may be time for the next step on your journey to freedom from credit
and debt. It may be that you have yet to confront your subconscious relationship
with money and credit. In other words, the “why’s” of it all.
Why do you behave the way you do with money or credit and debt? Why do you have
the unhelpful spending behaviors you have been trying to change? What belief system
is lurking behind it all? It’s time to ask the hard questions. Why did you
live with the resulting problems, sometimes for years? Especially when they often
affected so many different aspects of our lives like our most valued relationships
with others? Why did you try to cover up or deny those problems? Why do some of
us even deny we attempted to cover up the problems? Why are we so good at spotting
the problems of others without examining how we contribute (either consciously or
unconsciously) to our own? Did you know that according to a recent study conducted
by ACA International (Association of Credit and Collection Professionals) 92 percent
of Americans believe consumers are too far in debt? We wonder what the responses
would have been if these same Americans were asked if they had too much debt? This
same study examined the reasons Americans say they pay their bills. The results,
in order of prominence were If they don’t pay
- they will be called by collection agencies
- they won’t be able to make additional purchases (hmmm?)
- their credit score will go down

Checking the beliefs behind
behaviors helps you keep
focus on your goals.
Far less frequently, consumers cited concerns of the impact on their creditor and
concerns for the impact on the American economy. Unfortunately, all of these reasons
are much more focused on external reasons for the paying of bills than intrinsic
or internal reasons. We seem much more concerned with the consequences imposed on
us by others if we don’t fulfill the responsibilities we’ve previously
agreed to in acquiring credit than for any consequences we impose upon ourselves
in relation to our self image, self respect or self esteem.
Now, granted, that’s a pretty tough assessment, but only if you believe that
is the whole story. Defeat Debt doesn’t think it is.
What about our societal predilection towards not discussing money, credit, debt
or the attending issues surrounding these topics? Isn’t it odd that we are
highly concerned with and steadily discuss the pros and cons of educating our children
about sex and yet, are seemingly unconcerned with educating them about personal
finance and the consequences of their credit and debt decisions? It seems that with
credit and debt, the moment the questions become “threatening” we develop
defensive reasoning to protect ourselves from embarrassment, vulnerability or the
appearance of incompetence.
But why?

It’s time to ask and
answer the hard
questions.
How many of us had a class in school that explained all there was to know about
credit and debt? (Yet, how many of us signed up for driver’s education?) How
many of our parents knew enough to teach us? (Credit cards did not insinuate themselves
into the wallets of the American general public until the 1960’s and credit
qualifications were eased just over 20 years ago. We haven’t had terribly
long to learn about it, now have we?) How many of our parents learned what they
understood about credit and debt from parents who experienced (or experienced themselves)
the credit and debt hardships of the Great Depression? And why, no matter how much
money we have, does it seem we would be okay if we only had a little more?
Yet, we say we know money isn’t everything, that there’s more to life
than money, then we go on that shopping spree with a credit card, or that cruise
we’ll be paying for, for the next 10 years.
So yes, it’s time.
It’s time for us to ask and answer (honestly) the hard questions. The questions
about how we came to this point in our relationship with money, credit and debt.
It’s time to step up on our success so far and seek a more fulfilling success.
It’s time to understand that when it comes to credit and debt, as with any
relationship, it’s not about controlling and winning, it’s about managing
our interaction in new winning and productive ways.